There is no good way to fix this problem. This is one of those that someone is going to get hurt.

I've chosen the route that some say is insanity... but I said it once and I'll say it again. All problems aside, He makes me feel safe. Like I could crawl up inside him.  He's asked me to never use his name in my blogs again, and I won't. I also won't list any traceable locations. I learned my lesson the hard way from the psycho and the explosion that used to be his life.

He's been accused of not being honest. but by the same scale, I've not been totally honest either. I was given specific rules and guidelines to follow and I failed. Had I been successfull in that,a lot of that might have been avoided.

What started out as simply a meeting of like souls, has turned into an emotional mess with so many other innocents involved. I wish I could remove the hurt, but I'm not sure that is possible... maybe in time.......

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I was going to take my blog down. but it has been such a part of my life even if only intermittantly lately.... I decided to leave it up. If someone is that interested in what is going on in my life, even in my using these vague referances... then it gives them some solace to at least know that I'm ok.  (this is not intended to find a way around th rules, but there are vanilla friends that also read this and have been poking at me to start it up again.

In closing, all I can say is: if it's meant to be, it will be.

 Life is full of twists and turns and you never know where you might cross paths back again, and some things come full circle. I do not say this to create false hope.. and I wish that there was a way to not hurt the innocents... but this is a choice that I had to make today, and now I have to stand by it and and be the best person I can be.

For everyone that was involved in this, I apologize.

Also, I will continue to post my numbers so that my progress or decline can be seen... even with all of today's stress, my numbers were good. But I have cut one of my BP meds in half since there have been days when it dips almost too low.