Sometimes, there is no "why".

Sometimes, there is only what "is".

Sometimes you find wisdome in the oddest places, when you least expect it.

Who knew I'd hear that particular explanation in a movie about go-carts?

It explains so much... when there is no other explanation for things and how they are.

We just have to figure out how to accept what "is".

My father has asked me that question so many times in the last few years.

Why his life has turned out the way it has.. the loss of two wives to cancer. His current life might as well be lost, as she has no memory of any of us in her dementia. He felt he must have done something in this life, (or another life), that was so terrible that this would happen to him.

I've tried to tell him that he's actually been a lucky man... to have had 3 good women in his life, when many people never have even a single one.

I've asked the same question of my self. Why I would have to lose both parents to such a horrible disease? Why did they both have to suffer so badly with cancer? Why couldn't they both had just passed gently in their sleep.

Mom suffered from hers for 5yrs. But she made the most of the time she had left. Cody only lasted a year, but I attribute that to her avoidance any treatments. Dad has hung on for 9mos. Hospice told me in January that he had 3-4 weeks left... and he's outlasted the prediction. But I'm afraid he won't last much longer....

He's not able to walk for the last 4 days. He can barely stand long enough for me to move him around the bedroom. I'm not sure he's going to be able to get out of bed any longer. He has brief moments of clarity and can have a lucid conversation, then he lapses into incoherency. He's started doing things that I know are signs of the final days. "Plucking".. pulling at the bedding and in the air. Talking to people that aren't there. Those "eye's wide open" sleeping moments.

And just today, I asked myself  "why"?......................................